Fire the torpedoes

I was standing watch late one night in the barracks at Naval Training Center San Diego when I heard the toilets flushing, one right after the other. When I entered the head, there was a recruit flushing all the urinals. I asked him what he was doing.

"The Captain told me to fire these torpedoes," he said.

I realized he was sound asleep and told him they had all been fired.

"Okay," he said, and then turned and returned to his bunk.

Boot camp calls up many weird stories, such as the recruit who (on another late night) sat bolt upright in his bunk and loudly called out, "Where are my shoes, where are my GD shoes?"

"They are on the deck beside your bunk," I said.

"Oh," he said, and laid back down on his bunk sound asleep.

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