In the fall of 1972, I was in basic training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. One memory I have from that venture involved rolls of toilet paper.
During our first week of basic our platoon ran out of toilet paper. One of us went to supply to retrieve the replacement roll. Supply refused to give us the much needed tissue. Why? In order to get another roll we had to have proof we were out. You guessed it. We were required to bring the empty cardboard tube to exchange for the new roll off T.P.
What were we to do? We couldn’t take the roll from another platoon in our company. They’d be in the same boat as us and we were in this together. Such a betrayal was against all our natures. We also remembered that the drill sergeant told us that if we caught anyone stealing, they didn’t care how many stairs a guy fell down on the way, the thief just had to be alive when they got to the orderly room.
After considering that, and worrying about what we were going to do for a while, we still had the problem of needing to be able to wipe. Eventually, someone hatched the toilet paper caper. We decided to “confiscate” the needed cardboard roll from the basic training company housed next to us. There was no time to lose. We posted lookouts and sent in the chosen ones on their “covert” mission to obtain the needed contraband. It went off without a hitch and all the way to the end of training we made sure to save those cardboard tubes to trade for new rolls. We never went wipe-less again!
I’m not sure about the other company, but the escapade did teach us a lesson. If you needed something from supply, you must have the Old Bad to get the New Good, and sometimes a little ingenuity is required.

John C. Ahern, Plevna, Mo.