I had lunch with a friend today and saw myself as I think she was seeing me. We talked of funny Judy stories and old friends. But I could see in her eyes that she saw me as this graying old friend who may have screwed up some words when talking, and someone who needed an arm to hang on to to get out of the booth.
She went on to tell me what all was going on in her job, the remodeling of her home and some of her future plans. She is a dear friend, but I could tell that she was thinking about how bad I was at getting around with my cane and bent-over body.
She walked me to my car and we hugged with genuine affection before saying goodbye. I looked at her and saw her with a future, while I am keeping somewhat busy living for the present.
However, I also see me having, hopefully, many more years in my life. At times I see a bent-over body getting more debilitating all the time, and with the curse of arthritis, the constant fear of returning lung cancer and reoccurring pneumonia.
Not to say I have not been blessed with financial security, medical insurance and family love. But I saw that old lady my friend saw and it reminded me of what I guess we all know is coming. Although we all see "the child we were yesterday," we know our own mortality is around the corner, hopefully a long way off. But it would be better with as little old-age pain as possible.