A fond memory has to do with my membership in one of the training camp’s regimental bands during boot camp. I had played the bass horn in high school and hoped I might qualify as a player. Avoiding scullery duty was one of the incentives, of course!
When I became one of three or four bass players accepted, I learned there were only two instruments available. Due to the temporary nature of our boot camp presence, there was a continuing need for backups to fill the shoes of “graduates.” Therefore, while two men got to play, others might have had to stand down or march empty-handed while gaining “seniority.”
One of our two ancient and grimy horns was a sousaphone – the horn we all wanted to play. The other, a concert tuba used in symphony orchestras – not so much. The beast was as ugly as it was bulky and ungainly. We who were unfortunate enough to play it were provided with a hefty drum strap to be looped around our necks and hooked to a strong point somewhere on the horn. This made marching with it barely tolerable.
But playing it was impossible. Hanging by the player’s neck meant that walking with it would push it forward and back, smacking the player in the groin area with each stride. At the same time, the horn’s mouthpiece would bob up and down, creating grave danger for the musician’s teeth. Both his masculinity and dental work were subjected to significant risk!
The old concert tuba could be played at parade rest only, unless the player succumbed to fatigue or injury under its weight.
As we became “saltier” boot camp sailors, and departure for active duty neared, we were grateful to graduate to the sousaphone!