I am an author of a popular managing-fear book, and I have struggled with fear, anxiety and stress for over 20 years.
During this time, I have talked to various professionals in the counseling fields, read many books, and researched many ways on how to overcome my personal fears.
Here are some things I did to get my life back on track without having fear and anxiety rule my life.
The first thing I did was talk to various counselors since they knew how to deal with fear and anxiety. Whenever I talked to these counselors, I would always bring a notebook and take notes so I would not forget the advice that was given to me. In addition, I read many books and articles on how to deal with fear and anxiety. Talking to the professionals was very helpful to some extent; however, I had to take it upon myself to learn as much as I could so I could effectively deal with my personal fears. By getting help I learned many techniques on how to deal with my fears.
One of my favorite techniques was learning how to manage my negative thoughts. Whenever I would get a negative and fearful thought, I would challenge that thought with positive statements and realistic thinking. I also made it a habit to focus on the facts of my current situation and not on my negative thoughts.
For example, when I went to Penn State I was always afraid that I wouldn’t pass my difficult classes. There were times my fearful thoughts got the best of me, especially during finals. These fearful thoughts would race through my head and I would get very anxious. As a result, I began to manage my negative thoughts by reading positive statements from books and newspaper articles. I also gave myself a lot of pep talks before exam time so I would feel better. I also said a lot of prayers, which helped me in those situations, and I took it one day at a time. It was tough, but I was able to manage my negative thoughts and pass my exams and classes.
As I learned how to deal with my fears, I made it a habit of surrounding myself with supportive people who understood what I was going through. During some of my anxious times, one of my good friends gave me a hard time and was not very supportive. I tried to explain my situation to him, but he would not listen. One day I got mad and told him to leave me alone if he was to continue getting on my case. He later apologized and was more understanding. I learned that hanging out with unsupportive friends or family members made my worrying worse and that it is best to deal with people who are willing to support you with your anxieties and fears.
There were many times I felt like giving up because my fears and anxieties were so powerful and I didn’t know what to do. I worried about what would happen and that just made my fears that must stronger. In order to get out of this vicious cycle I realized that I had to educate myself on the various techniques for dealing with my fears. There was no other way, and I also had to be very persistent in finding ways that helped my situation. I learned that giving up would only make matters worse in the long run. With a lot of practice I became very good at dealing with my fears and worries.
I realized that the answers to my problems were out there, however it was up to me to find those techniques that managed my fears and anxieties. If you struggle with fear and anxiety, you need to make the effort in getting better. Remember that you are not alone in your recovery. Help is available and you can get better if you work at it like I did.